STOP Self-Sabotage

𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙. 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙗𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙢𝙮

Shirzad Chamine, Stanford Lecturer and NY Times Best-Selling Author

inner world matters

Have you ever noticed the inner dialogue that takes place inside your head after you’ve made a mistake?

How you can mentally beat yourself up not once but usually over and over?

And sometimes, these invisible lashings last for days, months or even years?!

How often do you find yourself revisiting and reliving embarrassing moments from the past?

How often do you feel guilty for hurting someone else?

How often do you spend your day wasting your time and energy on the past?


How often do you worry about the future? Or about what other people think of you? Or about a decision that you have to make? Or about money?

you’re not alone

It turns out that EVERYONE has these inner conversations and battles.

Our minds are constantly presenting us with unwanted thoughts, unwanted fears and unwanted emotions that take up a lot of mental energy and can leave us feeling EXHAUSTED, OVERWHELMED and STUCK.

change is scary


Because CHANGE is hard-wired into our brains to keep us safe from DANGER. Any new situation has built-in UNCERTAINTY and any uncertainty means there’s the risk of being killed.

Simple, right? It makes so much sense why it’s so hard to start something new, step out of our comfort zone or create a life we absolutely adore unless we can STOP that voice and START taking charge.

enter “inner judge”

We’re talking about the Inner Judge or the voice in your head that generates ALL of your negative emotions in the way you handle life’s daily challenges.

And there is not just the one voice of “the judge”, there’s lots of voices representing the automated patterns for how you think, feel and respond.

These automated patterns are running 24/7 ready to kick-in whenever something comes up.

And the reason that’s important to know is that these voices of the Judge and Inner Saboteurs can be the cause of ALL of our stress, pain, frustration, fear, guilt, shame, blame, anxiety, restlessness and unhappiness.

Any so-called negative emotion is the signal from our bodies that we’re in the survival part of our brain.

And when you’re in the survival part of your brain, you’ve paralyzed yourself to clear thinking or calm feelings.

This state is very hard on the body, both chemically and physically and results in a loss of energy and focus, leaving us exhausted the longer we stay in that state.

remember the most important thing

THE most important thing you need to understand is: YOU are NOT your saboteurs.

They are simply the voices in your head or automated reactivity patterns and they won’t define you UNLESS you don’t know about them and know how to stop them.

After all, we only know what we know until someone tells us differently, right?

If you’re ready to STOP self-sabotage and 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙍𝙏 mastering your mind and your emotions, I can help.

Here’s what I found

My Inner Saboteurs were usually a lot louder in my head than my Inner SAGE voice or the voice of my High Self.

I often spent time, saying, “I don’t know,” or “I can’t remember; I have a terrible memory,” or “She does it so much better than I do. I’m not as good as her.”

These voices became a self-fulfilling prophecy. I wouldn’t speak out in front of others for fear of saying the wrong answer. I wouldn’t remember things because I was avoiding feeling my emotions. I constantly compared myself to others and this kept me from truly seeing my own gifts and talents.

These voices kept me small and, I thought, safe.

in my own prison

I was not the master of my mind.

I had a mismanaged imagination which kept me in fear, doubt and anxiety much of the time.

I didn’t realize how much time I spent scanning the horizon for dangers, hyper-focusing on situations to try to mitigate every last possible thing that could go wrong and castraphizing.

And what I really didn’t realize was how much energy this pattern of thinking was draining from my life.

the dawn of awareness

Then, one day, I started paying attention to those voices and boy, oh boy, were they prevalent, consistent and LOUD.

I could not stop the voices on my own.

thank goddess I didn’t have to

The easiest way to do anything, usually, is with someone else who will hold us accountable to making the changes we seek.

What’s even more powerful is surrounding oneself with a whole bunch of people who are working to accomplish the same goal.

Because remember when we talked about the hard-wiring of our Negativity Bias and our unwillingness to change?

Change is scary AND change is necessary and inevitable part of life so how do we make the changes we need to?

what is your ‘why’

Here’s where I ask you, “WHY do you want to stop sabotaging yourself?”

What patterns in your life have you noticed that no longer serve you?

  • Is it because you often avoid unpleasant tasks and conflicts?
  • Is it because you’ve noticed that you constantly try to help, please or rescue others and disregard your own needs?
  • Could it be you’re always anxious, waiting for the other shoe to drop, castrophizing and caught up in “stinking-thinking”?
  • Maybe you’ve noticed you’re too self-critical or you often disappoint yourself or others?

How do you imagine your life to look differently?

my “why”

I wanted to STOP self-sabotage because:

  • I was sick and tired of not keeping the promises I made to myself.
  • I was tired of listening to the long list of excuses I could generate so easily to justify my lack of commitment at following-through with my visions.
  • I was tired of thinking, “I already know what to do,” and then not doing what I knew.

My ultimate “why” is because I want to be a healthy role model for my son. I want to be the example and invitation to a life dedicated to world peace, love and service with no regrets.

After all, when your why is big enough, you’ll always take action.

Habits + real life = HARD

Habits + Positive Peer Pressure = EASY

Do you want to do it the HARD way or the EASY way?

I’ve found that if I don’t set myself up to win with a coach or a course, I usually don’t get far.

And because my WHY is big, I’m willing to invest the time and money required to support myself.

If you are, too, then let’s do this together.


Imagine BOOSTING your performance, IMPROVING your wellbeing and STRENGTHENING every relationship, especially the most important one–the one with yourself?

Imagine waking up every morning full of zest and vitality knowing that no matter how loud the voices seem to be, they can be handled.

Imagine handling every interaction with an almost superpower of calm, clear responses and reactions.

Imagine speaking your voice, expressing your needs and not worrying about the other person’s judgements or reactions.

Imagine letting go of the smaller battles and having so much more energy to devote to the things in your life that matter.

𝙄𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙚 being able to 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣 to quiet down and behave so that you 𝘤𝘢𝘯 move forward with confidence, joy and inner peace finding 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐅𝐓 in EVERY opportunity and circumstance and SHOWING UP as the most authentic version of YOU, 𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪𝗜𝗡𝗚 that you have all the answers inside.

Let’s talk. I can help.

Book time in our schedule for you–pick your most convenient time and together we can figure this out.